Tag Archive | Online dating service

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

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I find it interesting, and a bit disconcerting, every single person I know has a very concrete idea of the person they think they want to find. A set of standards, things they are looking for, and things they are hoping to avoid.

This has brought me to some related questions/conclusions, along with today’s most valuable lesson. One question; if you are seeking someone with similar interests and you are a bookworm, couch potato, why are you dating athletic types who want to be on the go and haven’t read a book since college? A conclusion; people are basing their hopes on completely unrealistic ideals.

The previous conclusion leads into today’s self-evaluation topic. Before you can truly go about finding someone suitable to spend more than two weeks with, you should really figure out Who the Fuck Are You?! Truly, genuinely, inside and out.

When I read online dating profiles, I’m always amused. Guess what, every guy on *insert unnamed dating service*.com loves basketball, hiking, beaches, travel, romantic nights. Really???!!! All of you do, huh? Fascinating. Tell me more. (giant bit of sarcasm for you there, happy Friday!)

Obviously, there is a level of dishonesty in some cases. But I really do find in most cases, more than anything else, it’s them portraying their “ideal self”. The guy they would be, if only….. It’s the if only creating the problem.

My suggestion to anyone who is going to be dating is to take a look at themselves. An honest look. Sure, we all have those friends who are going to tell us how amazing we are, how stupid the entire single world is for not beating our door down, we’re beautiful/handsome, a total catch. This is awesome and everyone needs and deserves the support, believe me, there will be times when your ego is going to take major, undeserved hits. Those people need to be on standby for just such occasions.

The problem comes from believing all of the hype, all of the time. Yes, maybe you are beautiful, but then again, maybe your beauty is only skin deep. I’m sure you are amazing, but you probably have some flaws, too.

When I sat down recently to genuinely evaluate who I am and what I have to offer, I found that I like myself quite a bit. I also found myself disappointed in Me in several areas. (hey, I warned y’all I started seeing a psychologist after the first breakup with mi Colombiano, this shit is what we do)

The point wasn’t by any means to beat myself up, or to build myself up. It was to ground myself. Arm myself from unfair assessments by others, give me the ability to acknowledge the fair ones with grace, and the chance to work on areas I choose to change.

One of my best features is my unwavering support of those I care for, be it emotionally, physically, or other, I will do anything for someone I care about, putting myself aside to be there for them. One of my worst is I am judgemental…..yes, I am judging you: your hair, your shoes, those earrings, your inability to spell, etc…I am judgy.

Obviously, I dug much deeper than these issues, but hey, some stuff you people just don’t need to know. 😉

Have you ever done an honest character evaluation of yourself? Did you find it uplifting? Depressing? Do you think I should stop seeing this psychologist immediately?? LOL

 

 

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Too Many Men, Too Few Posts….

bad girl

I know, I am supposed to be keeping you abreast (hehe) of my dating activities. I should warn you, we have a lot of catching up to do. New cast members, reappearances from previously undiscussed cast members, dates gone awry and dates going really well.

Each man, no more how seemingly inconsequential, needs to be chronicled, for posterity if nothing else. So, with this in mind, I will do a quick rundown for you on what has transpired, then we will spend next week actually going into some detail on the cast members involved in this rundown.

The Rundown:

Emails from “mi Colombiano” leaving me in an emotional heap

Random calls from the Jamaican, who has been out of the picture for almost a year (??!!?? can we all say it together now WTF?)

Four new cast members…2 from *insert internet dating site*.com, 2 from random meetings.

One bizarre, whirlwind, meet the entire family, first date.

One very pleasant first date.

One offer to fly, all expenses paid, to Vegas for 3 days.

One extremely pleasant lunch date, filled with nice, relaxed conversation and laughter.

One unexpected drop-in houseguest tossing his proverbial hat in the ring.

Yes, much to review next week.

Join me then, I will give the full breakout on each and you can pick them apart with me. You know you want to!