The Vanishing (this is not a movie review)

I think I am now most famous for the drop off. You know, blogging away, posting regularly, then suddenly I just drop off. I can’t help it. I can, I just choose not to help it. Life gets in my way.

I started this new blog in the stream of chronicling what dating and romance are like for someone after 19 years of marriage. I stopped writing, well, quite simply, because I stopped dating. I realized I don’t care for this world’s idea of romance and relationships. I de-prioritized it.

I made lots of friends, met some real assholes, went some nice places and some not-so-nice places. Mostly though, I took a deep look at myself, what I want in life and who I would like to share it with, theoretically.

What I found was simple: I am a bright, moderately attractive, fun, stable person who has an open mind and heart. I am not a quick trick. I do not have any desire to pretend I need someone I genuinely don’t need. I am not capable of pretending to be a damsel in distress. I will handle my own shit, take care of me and mine, and still make room for another person.

I mention this because a guy I dated told me he would take care of me. Now, if he meant sexually, I would be all for it. If he meant he would meet the emotional needs of someone he cares about and was in a relationship with, I’m all for that, as well. Alas, niether of these were not what he meant. He just wanted to make sure I knew if I was dating him, he would pay for things, buy things, enrich my life, financially.

Modern day romance, aka prostitution.

I just can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t even count the number of my friends who have suggested taking that route. Find some rich guy and go with it. You deserve a break. It’s as easy to live with a rich guy as it is a poor one.

While I love my friends and I understand their desire to see me comfortable and having all of the material things I left behind in my divorce, the idea of being with someone for financial reasons, well, it just creeps me out.

So, I find myself sorting things out alone. Dating, via websites and friends ideal matches feels completely unappealing. My family and my career being my focus. I will be making major life changes throughout the next few months. Changes I will no doubt chronicle in some fashion.

Blogging is something I love and will, no doubt, continue to do. I just feel more in my own skin if the blog has no set topic. It just needs to be me. Real, honest, unashamedly me….so, be patient, as I give this little place an overhaul. New name, new look, old Shawn…little bit fun, little bit spicy, very opinionated, whole lot of Wicked. Time to get back to it!!

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2 thoughts on “The Vanishing (this is not a movie review)

  1. To me, you have remained true to yourself and your loved ones through and through. That’s why we love about you. That being said, between someone wealthy and who gets you and you have the hots for, and someone not as wealthy and who gets you and you have the hots for, and everything being equal (cough cough, you know what I mean? wink wink) let’s go with the wealthy guy, ok? Especially if he has a big yacht (not a metaphor) or a private jet, your girlfriends can all take a nice vacation together on his private island! Go Shawn! 🙂 xxoo

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